


I Thought You Were Dead

by mallornblossom



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M, Not Beta Read, Russingon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24987652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mallornblossom/pseuds/mallornblossom
Summary: Russandol and Findekáno spend some time together on the shores of Lake Mithrim.In response to the prompt "I thought you were dead" on Tumblr.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	I Thought You Were Dead

It had become a ritual for them, once Russandol was up and walking. Findekáno, with the taller _nér_ leaning on an extended arm for support, would lead the two of them to a private spot he had found in the days after his people made camp around Lake Mithrim. It was an alcove made up of overgrown ferns, the clearing within facing the water and just big enough for two people to rest in. Russandol had been the first person to be let in on Findekáno’s little secret, and it had become their spot.

Sometimes they would spend their time there reminiscing, or planning, or venting. Other times they would sit in contented silence, listening to the soft sounds of the world around them, until falling asleep well past the time they were expected back at camp. They tried their best not to allow themselves the rest, to avoid dealing with the healers chastising them for being gone so long.

On this afternoon Russandol sat with his back against the rock, his back pillowed against the hard surface by a folded blanket, his eyes closed and right arm resting on the back of the _ nér  _ whose head rest in his lap. Findekano’s face was turned away towards the grey water. The world around them was quiet, the only sounds being the occasional bird song and the waves gently lapping against the rocky shore.

“Finno?”

Russandol felt the other nér jolt a little, clearly having fallen asleep. “Hmm?” the response was drowsy.

“Why did you wait so long to visit me?” Underneath his arm he could feel Findekáno’s back still as he held his breath, until, after an eternal minute, he finally exhaled nervously. He turned over, his deep brown eyes lingering somewhere above in the sky for a brief moment before finally turning to meet soft grey.

“I thought you were dead.”

Russandol’s brows furrowed. “But you - what? But you saved me!”

Findekáno shifted uncomfortably, bringing both hands up to grip Russandol’s left hand, fingers intertwining.

“Yeah… I know. But… that whole ride back, on Thorondor, I just knew that you weren’t going to make it. You couldn’t see yourself, not then.” Silence fell between them. “You looked so small, weak. I thought I was just delaying the inevitable. Selfishly. You had begged me to kill you.”

Silence fell between them, neither of them daring to break eye contact. Findekáno opened and closed his mouth several times before finally continuing, his voice catching in his throat.

“I - I was just scared. Scared that I would go in there and you’d be gone. Really gone. That I had gotten so close, but you’d really, truly be gone.”

Russandol wasn’t sure what to say. He brought their hands up to his lips, brushing them against Findekáno’s knuckles. He glanced up to the sky above. It was grey, heavy with rain. They wouldn’t have much longer together that afternoon, not alone at least. And how many days after today would they have together before he had to stop being Russandol and start being Nelyafinwë, leader of his father’s people? Looking back down, they locked eyes and he smiled brightly down at Findekáno.

“Well, I’m here. Now. For you. Were it not for you, I’d still be strung up at the wrist. But now I’m healing and we’re together.” For now, he thought. “Even if I hadn’t made it, my last memory would have been of you.”

Findekáno smiled in return. He had Russo - his Russo - back, and they were together. And even if it was only for a little while, it was time that they could take to both heal. Together.


End file.
